Note: In England and Wales, the law no longer uses the term “custody.” Instead, you’ll see “child arrangements,” “live with,” and “spend time with” orders. Most people still say “custody,” but it’s important to use the right terms when dealing with courts or professionals.

When parents separate, the biggest worry is often where the children will live and how they will spend time with each parent. This guide answers common child custody questions in clear, everyday language for England and Wales.

You will learn:

• How the law talks about ''custody'' and what terms are used now

• What the court considers when deciding child arrangements

• Typical questions parents ask about moving, holidays, and decisions

• When you may need a court order and when agreement is enough

• Blind spots and practical issues that often arise after arrangements are made

This is general information only, but it will help you understand the basics before speaking to a solicitor.

Table of contents

1. Key terms: from ''custody'' to child arrangements

2. How decisions are made about children

3. Common questions and clear legal answers

4. When you need a court order and what to expect

5. Review checks for parents and carers
   
   

1. Key terms: from ''custody'' to child arrangements

The law in England and Wales no longer uses the word custody. Instead, you will hear terms like:

• Child arrangements order: Sets out where a child lives and when they spend time with each person.

• Parental responsibility (PR): The rights and duties to make important decisions about a child’s upbringing (education, medical treatment, religion).

• Live with / spend time with: Wording often used in orders instead of custody and access.

Blind spot:
If you use “custody” in court forms or with professionals, you may be asked to clarify what you mean. Using the correct terms helps avoid confusion and ensures your requests are understood.

2. How decisions are made about children

The court’s first concern is always the welfare of the child.

Judges use the “welfare checklist,” which includes:

• The child’s wishes and feelings (in light of their age and understanding)

• Their physical, emotional, and educational needs

• The likely effect of any change in circumstances

• Any harm they have suffered or are at risk of suffering

• How capable each parent (and any other relevant person) is of meeting their needs

The aim is not to reward or punish either parent, but to reach arrangements that work best for the child.

Nuance:
Older children’s views carry more weight, but the court will not always follow their wishes if it’s not in their best interests.

3. Common questions and clear legal answers

Who will my child live with?

There is no automatic rule that children live with their mother or father. Many families agree a pattern that suits the child, such as:

• Living mainly with one parent and spending regular time with the other

• Sharing time more evenly where this is practical and in the child’s interests

Blind spot:
If you agree a pattern informally, but one parent later wants to change it, you may need to formalise arrangements to avoid disputes.

Can we share care 50/50?

Yes, some families do, but the court will look at:

• Travel and distance between homes and school

• Parents’ working hours and flexibility

• How well parents communicate

Equal time is not always possible, but meaningful time with both parents is usually encouraged where safe.

Nuance:
If one parent moves far away, 50/50 care may become impractical, and arrangements may need to change.

Can I stop my child seeing the other parent?

The court expects children to have a relationship with both parents where it is safe. Stopping contact without a good reason can be questioned.

However, you should seek urgent advice if there are safety concerns such as violence, abuse, or substance misuse.

Blind spot:
If you stop contact without a court order or agreement, the other parent may apply to court, and you may need to explain your reasons.

Can I take my child abroad on holiday?

• If there is a child arrangements order saying the child lives with you, you may usually take them abroad for up to 28 days without the other parent’s consent, unless the order says otherwise.

• Otherwise, you normally need the other parent’s consent (if they have PR) or a court order.

Nuance:
Some countries require written consent from both parents to enter or leave with a child. Always check travel requirements before booking.

Can I move to another part of the UK with my child?

Moving within England and Wales can still have a big impact on the other parent’s time with the child. Large moves often lead to disputes. Courts will look at:

• Reasons for the move

• Impact on the child’s relationship with both parents

• Schooling and support networks

If the move is significant, it is sensible to seek agreement in writing or legal advice before making firm plans.

Blind spot:
If you move without agreement, the other parent may apply to court to prevent or reverse the move.

What if we already have a child arrangements order?

If there is already a child arrangements order in place, you should read it carefully before changing patterns. Many families adjust contact informally over time, but if you want to depart significantly from the order, it is usually safer to:

• Try to agree changes in writing (for example, email) with the other parent.

• Consider mediation if agreement proves difficult.

• Take advice on whether a formal application to vary the order is sensible.

Nuance:
If you breach a court order without agreement or a good reason, you may face enforcement proceedings.

4. When you need a court order and what to expect

Many families agree arrangements without going to court, sometimes with the help of mediation.

You may need a court order if:

• You cannot agree where the child will live or how much time they spend with each parent

• There are serious concerns about safety or welfare

• One parent wants to move far away or abroad and the other objects

Before making most applications, you usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) unless an exemption applies.

If a case goes to court:

• You submit an application (often using the C100 form)

• CAFCASS may carry out safeguarding checks

• The court may list several hearings to explore solutions and, if necessary, make a final order

Even when a case is in court, most parents are encouraged to reach practical agreements where it is safe to do so. Orders can sometimes be adjusted by consent if circumstances change.

Blind spot:
Court proceedings can take months and may not resolve all issues. Interim arrangements may be needed while waiting for a final order.

5. Review checks for parents and carers

Before making big decisions or applying to court, ask yourself:

• Child‑focused check: Are proposals genuinely centred on what is best for the child, not on winning against the other parent?

• Safety check: Are there any risks that mean you should seek urgent legal advice or protection orders?

• Communication check: Could mediation or a structured conversation, supported by guidance or AI‑powered tools, help you agree arrangements without going to court?

Blind spot:
Arrangements that work well for young children may need to change as they get older, start new schools, or develop new interests. Be prepared to review and adapt over time.

Using Caira to understand reports and orders

If you already have a CAFCASS report, court order, or long email from the other parent’s solicitor, you can upload it to Caira, an AI‑powered legal assistant for England and Wales.

With Caira you can:

• Upload PDFs, DOCX files, scans, and screenshots of orders, reports and messages.

• Ask questions like ''What does this order actually require me to do?'' or ''How does this proposal compare with what the court usually looks for?''.

• Get draft wording for calm, child‑focused emails or position statements.

Caira is privacy‑first and answers are grounded in a library of more than 10,000 legal and tax documents for England and Wales together with your uploads.

You can try Caira with a free 14‑day trial, no credit card required. After that it is an affordable, low‑cost monthly service at £15/month, available 24/7 on your phone, tablet or desktop when questions or worries arise.

Review checks for this article

1. Legal terminology check
   Ask a family law professional to confirm that terms like child arrangements order, parental responsibility, and MIAM are described accurately.
   
   

2. Safeguarding emphasis check
   Confirm that safety and the welfare principle are clearly placed above parental rights throughout the article.
   
   

3. Jurisdiction check
   Ensure it is clear this guidance applies to England and Wales only, and that links or references match this jurisdiction.