Christmas is often seen as a time for family, tradition, and togetherness. For separated parents, it can also bring up feelings of anxiety, disappointment, and uncertainty—especially when it comes to making arrangements for the children.

In England and Wales, Cafcass and the courts almost always order for Christmas to be shared, regardless of whether parents celebrate it themselves. Christmas is treated as a milestone, much like a child’s birthday, and every parent has the right to spend this special time with their child, provided it’s safe and in the child’s best interests. With a little planning, open communication, and a focus on what truly matters, it’s possible to create a festive season that works for everyone.

1. Split Christmas Day in Half (with Extended Blocks)

How it works:
One parent has the children for 5–7 days leading up to Christmas, including Christmas morning until 12pm. The other parent then has the children for the next 5–7 days, starting from midday on Christmas Day.

Pros:

• Both parents get meaningful time during the festive period.

• Children experience Christmas morning with one parent and afternoon/evening with the other.

• Extended blocks reduce the stress of frequent handovers.

Cons:

• Midday handover on Christmas Day can be disruptive, especially if parents live far apart.

• Not ideal if relations are highly acrimonious or if one parent struggles to stick to arrangements.

Tip:
If you choose this, plan handover logistics carefully. Consider meeting at a neutral location and keep transitions calm and brief.

2. Alternating Blocks Around Christmas (3 Days Before/After)

How it works:
One parent has the children for three days before Christmas Day, and the other parent has them for three days after. This can be alternated each year.

Pros:

• Each parent gets a substantial block of time, including either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day.

• Reduces the need for handover on Christmas Day itself.

• Works well for families with international travel or long distances.

Cons:

• One parent may not see the children on Christmas Day every year.

• Requires flexibility and clear communication.

Tip:
If travel is involved, factor in time for rest and recovery. Agree dates well in advance and put the plan in writing.

3. Celebrating Christmas on Different Days

How it works:
Some parents celebrate Christmas with their children a few days or even a week before or after 25 December, without worrying about handover on the actual day.

Pros:

• No pressure for handover on Christmas Day.

• Allows for more relaxed, flexible celebrations.

• Children can enjoy two festive occasions.

Cons:

• May feel less traditional, but children often enjoy the novelty.

• Requires both parents to be positive and flexible.

Tip:
Make your celebration special, regardless of the date. Children remember the atmosphere and the effort, not just the calendar.

4. Key Factors to Consider

• Age of Children: Teenagers may want a say in arrangements; newborns and young children need routine and predictability.

• Distance: Long journeys on Christmas Day can be exhausting. If parents live far apart, consider longer blocks or alternating years.

• Level of Conflict: If contact is often frustrating or arrangements aren’t followed, avoid splitting Christmas Day—choose simpler, less contentious options.

• Extended Family: Grandparents and other relatives may want to see the children, so factor this into your plans.

  
  

5. Emotional Wellbeing Tips

• Don’t make Christmas Eve or Day a battleground. It’s just one day out of 365.

• Children are more likely to remember special moments on unexpected days.

• Reassure your children it’s okay to enjoy time with both parents.

• If things are tense, keep handovers brief and neutral.

  
  

Conclusion:

Once court order child arrangements have been made, they are extremely difficult to change—so it’s wise to think long-term and not get caught up in just one holiday. Christmas is only one small period out of many days in the year that can be made special. There’s no perfect solution, but with clear arrangements, honest communication, and a focus on your children’s needs, you can make the festive season joyful and low-stress. If you don’t have the children on Christmas Day, you can still create wonderful memories with them on another day. What matters most is that your children feel loved, secure, and able to enjoy the season—no matter how it’s structured.